"Thank you, thank you! You've been a great crowd! And now for my final post..."

Yeah, I'm done with this. Soon as everything's backed up on the hard drive, I'm saying farewell.

I have thought a lot about what to say in my last post. At first I thought I'd post a memory about everyone who had subscribed to me. Some of the people I don't even know... I tried to decide if there was something really important that I wanted to say, but eventually I just decided to wing it *shudders*.

So after a few years of learning everything newsworthy and important from Xanga, I've decided to move on. My sister acknowledged that every time she tried to tell someone something exciting they would say, "Oh, I already knew that. I read it on Xanga." I've also found several things very disconcerting, thereby ruining my day. Let's face it, I'm sick of the drama. That and I find no pleasure in this site anymore. And begging for comments is entirely beneath me. Okay, I know I probably sounds all melodramatic, so let me just reinstate the point: I'm through. This will be the last life-rant I will ever make on this Xanga. So hold onto your... Cheese Whiz.

I'm going through a very difficult stage in my life right now, trying to figure out who I am, recovering from being completely broken apart, and I feel as though I've been thrown off the course of my life. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing, who I really am, and, most importantly, I don't feel like I really know and love God. I know that it's impossible to ever know everything there is about God and to discover who He truly is while we're still chilling out on earth, but I know some of what I feel about Him is not quite right, and that I don't spend enough time trying to find Him because, well, I waste all of my spare time online. :P You guys what to know what my devotions are like? I don't have any. I pray as often as I can, because I always feel like I need to talk to God. But I've always had this impending feeling when I talk to Him, which shows me that my spiritual life is not in order, therefore disorienting the rest of my life. I've no spiritual growth, which is the one most important thing I should have in my life right now. I feel quite lost, abandoned, hopeless, and sometimes friendless. And I can't even believe I am typing this right now.... anyway, I may very well take a hiatus from the Internet. Or a semi-hiatus, anyway. There's still something holding me back from that, though.

I feel like I need to get away, to join people who bring out who I really am, that person hiding inside me who is scared to come out because of the criticism they would receive were they to reveal theirself (now I'm sounding sci-fi-ish). Whenever I post on Xanga, I feel like there's something I need to say that I haven't said yet. I've been feeling that for a long time. Maybe it's not what I need to say, though, but the response I am hoping to get............. is anyone understanding this? Haha

Well anyway, I want to thank everyone who's listened to my rambles and squabbles, etc. I'm impressed that anyone should read my extremely long posts, and I thank the few people who posted on my New Year picture post. And those who read it as well. I esteem those who've offered me their [usually] wise words of advice. I credit those who've complemented my choice of layout and Xanga colours. I even admire those who've made entire plans with me just on Xanga. Blogs are surely a wondrous thing. Anyways, I'm going to keep my writing and quiz Xangas, because I still love them, and they've never gotten much attention anyway, so I've never had to worry about drama on there (well, besides the Terri Schiavo post...). I've another archaic blog on LiveJournal, and an "Allright" blog I'd update semi-regularly on Blogdrive (don't worry, you can find it using the search on there). So now if you want to know about my life, you have to actually try to find out what's going on. Yeaaah. Oh, and under no circumstances will I be making a MySpace. I refuse to join the cult. Xanga was a sacrifice enough on my part. *Thinks I shall be stoned.*

So... if you could all pray for me, that would be excellent. If you could offer advice, it would be well appreciated. Any other offerings will be taken into consideration.

So I think I'll give it a week. That should be enough to get my final comments. *Nods determinately and waggishly.* I apologize to those who just recently subscribed to me. Lol I'll still read your Xangas, I promise.

Love always, God bless and keep you all,

-Stephanie-

A bunch of very important P.S.'s:

P.S. One more week and I will find out my SAT results!

P.P.S. Volleyball is tonight! Very important! Lol

P.P.P.S. I wanted to add "Let That Be Enough" as my final background song, but since that was becoming difficult to find, I decided that "24" would be just about as good to use. That was hard to find, too.

P.P.P.P.S. R.M.S. Titanic set sail(?) today 94 years ago! Woooo doggies! Go check out the Titanic display Kelsey and I put up at the library!